Xander Turns Two!

Xander Zekiah is two. Well, he turned two two months ago, but... life happens. Middle child problems, or something like that.

He's all boy. He loves to be outside playing with sticks or in mud and testing his strength and balance by climbing and jumping and running endlessly. He is LOUD. He barely talks, although he communicates quite well, but he is loud! He's sweet, a total mama's boy, and a hot mess since Oscar arrived. I'm a little over the kicking, hitting, spitting, and full body meltdowns. Transitions are hard when you're two!

He loves to snuggle and often still falls asleep in my arms at naptime. He sleeps with E in her bed at night, and is still a great sleeper! 

Xander is currently into dinosaurs, cars, trains, puzzles, and books! He has always loved to read, and would be happy to have me read to him all day every day. He particularly loves the How Do Dinosaurs books. A few tickles can completely change his mood, and he loves to chase and be chased. He can be bribed to do just about anything for a pack of fruit snacks (not that I would...) He loves riding rides at Dutch Wonderland, although he often looks unimpressed, bored, or even terrified. Without fail, he'll ask to do it again and again!

He has a spectacular sense of humor. The boy has been cracking jokes since he was 15 months old, and he still thinks he's absolutely hysterical. Normally I agree.

He was off the bottom of the growth charts for close to two years, and then all the sudden in January he started to grow! He's gained almost a pound a month since then, and all his jeans are suddenly too short. He's 25 pounds and 33 inches tall. He insisted he weigh and measure himself at every single OB visit I had this year.

We decided to take his 2 year pictures and he was NOT having it.

He asked to sit in the car, so we went with it.

He spotted animal crackers, and suddenly all was right with the world.

I am so very thankful for this sweet little boy! I love watching him grow, learn, and smile!

Toddler Valentine's Day Crafting

Hey, E? Want to scroll through Pinterest with me and find something fun to do together? You want to make these adorable heart shaped animals? One for all your friends? How sweet. Let's print the patterns!  

Oh, choose a different one to start with, Mommy doesn't do mice. 

Good choice! The hippo is adorable!

We can cut the pattern out together, trace it onto construction paper for you to cut out each and every piece, and then you can glue and tape it together. How lovely!

{Twenty loooong minutes later}

Great job, E! He's adorable! I'm so happy we could make him together. 

Wait, what do you mean you want to do more?! I think this adorable little hippo is perfect! 

Let's do something else. Anything else! 

...Oh, okay, fine. But this time I'm cutting. You can do all the gluing/taping. Okay?

More?!?!

You've got to be kidding me. Okay, okay, we'll wing it. 

Oops he's upside down. He'll live. 

What do you mean he needs eyes? He looks perfect with no eyes! Well, if you can find googly eyes I certainly won't stop you from gluing them on his face.

An honest mom's guide to new baby essentials

I've read countless Pinterest lists of Essential Newborn Items. They range from basic to excessive, crunchy to mainstream, and more often than not, flat out ridiculous. How did I survive without 25 pairs of newborn socks or the $1500 stroller?! I'll never know. Zulily had a New Baby Essentials shopping category recently that included items such as facial masks for guests to wear to contain their germs. Friends don't let friends share air with their baby.

The simple truth is that what is essential to me probably isn't essential to you. What was essential for my daughter was very different than what was essential for my son. At five months old, my dear boy has spent zero minutes in a stroller, sleeping in a crib, or bathing in a baby tub.

So what do you really need for that new bundle of joy? Here's my honest list.

5. Stain fighting super powers
Even if you embrace stains as works of art, kids have a knack for staining the one shirt that is actually semi-flattering that allows you to easily breastfeed in public. Or vomiting on those pants you tried on for thirty seconds just to make sure they'll work for the Christmas party. Or pooping all over the sofa during a midnight diaper change. OxiClean, Shout, or your all homemade mixture of peroxide, Dawn, and unicorn tears is your friend even when your baby isn't.

4. Strong Coffee
It still amazes me that anyone can function, let along parent, without this nectar from God himself. There's no shame in copious coffee consumption when you haven't slept in weeks, months, or years.

3. Fresh Air
Even if it's walking in circles around your back yard, fresh air can help you and baby recharge. It's my first line of defense against a grumpy baby or grumpy self. You might even get a few minutes of exercise while you're at it.

2. Sense of Humor
When the baby poos mid diaper change, causing both you and baby to need to bathe and change your clothes for the third time today, and it's not even 10am. And it's the only day this week you've actually showered or been dressed by 10am. Or when you wake your husband in the middle of the night and tell him to stop crying, not realizing that three week old infant is the one crying. Or when your toddler is out back butt naked while you obliviously snuggle your sleeping baby on the sofa. Or when the toddler wants you to sing "Let it Go" after an hour long tantrum. Or when you're so tired you walk the dog and don't realize you come back home without the dog. Or when you're at the grocery store to fulfill your donut craving and the stranger in front of you, upon hearing you still have 3 months of pregnancy to go, loudly exclaims, "Well, I guess when you're that short, baby has nowhere to go but straight out!" Or when your toddler completely photobombs your pictures of the baby even though she refused to join when you wanted her to. Or when you spend your Saturday night in the store checking out baby equimpent after the swing breaks. Or when your toddler, who is the most outgoing kid you know and an expert at cheesing it up for the camera, hasn't smiled for a professional photographer in the last two years. Or when the toddler, who is the reason you cosleep because she's never slept a wink in a crib, insists on sleeping in the crib when you set it up for the next baby. Or that week she spent every night on the new dog bed rather than her brand new pink ruffly big girl bed. Or when you're 37 weeks pregnant and your husband decides we need to scrap our list of baby names and start over. Or when you go into labor at 39 weeks and baby is born before you've come up with another name. Or when the baby empties an entire bottle of oregano on the dog. Or that day that was so long that you didn't realize you put the baby to bed without a diaper. Or when your husband graciously agrees to clean the bathtub when your baby is a few days old, and he ends up with a chemical burn from your organic all natural cleaner requiring two different steroids, an antibiotic, and an anti-inflammatory drug.  Need I go on? You're going to need to be able to laugh at yourself. You may very well cry first, but being able to laugh will help.

1. Mom Friends
Everyone needs a friend who will come over immediately the first time the baby falls off the sofa, who will come pick up your naked screaming baby so that you can take a nap, or heaven forbid, shower in peace for just a few minutes, who will laugh at you when necessary. Friends who show up with coffee and ignore your mountain of laundry, who treat your kids as their own, and who support your family even when they parent completely opposite of you. Friends who will laugh at you, cry with you, and help you survive your tiny tyrants.

Toddler Convos

Some recent toddler convos:

While talking to E about fleeing dangerous situations:

E: Well, I don't want to be safe. I want to stay. I want to fight the bad guys!
Mommy: We run. We let the policemen get the bad guys. Do you want to be a policewoman?
E: Why not doctors? Why don't they get the bad guys?
Mommy: Do you want to be a doctor that fights bad guys?
E: Why aren't we eating pancakes?

As she rolls up a napkin and shoves it in Daddy's pocket:
E: Here, take this to the birthday party for me. Then, if I get birthday party on my face, you can wipe it off.

While she plays:
Mommy: Oh what a tiny baby you have!
E: I know! She's so tiny! She's 300 pounds. She just came out of my belly. She's five years old but she'll be one at her birthday!

From a recent car ride now that we turned her forward facing:
Mommy, look, there are cars! It's dark in here. Why can't I see? Can we turn a light on? Why did you stop? Why is the light red? Do you like my sparkly shoes? Where is Xander? Is he home with Daddy? Why didn't he come? How far away are we? You can go now! I think you should go that way. Why didn't you go that way? Why don't we ever go that way? Well, yesterday, at the beach, we had ice cream. Can we have ice cream? There's still a bug on the car. Is he inside or outside? Why didn't you get the bug? Can I squash the bug? Let's wash the car. It's dirty. Is Xander awake yet? Is Daddy at work? I'm going to save this last piece for Daddy. Never mind, I ate it. Why did you stop? Why aren't you going? Let's go that way!

Bedtime conversations:

E: Daddy, can I sleep in Mommy's bed tonight?
Daddy: No.
E: Thank you so much! That's so kind of you!
Daddy: I said no.
E: Um, I don't think so.

Mommy: Why don't you go put on some play clothes?

E: Where are we going?!

Mommy: We're staying here. Just put on some clothes that can get dirty.

E: Okay. I'll go find a plain tutu.

Why having a three year old sister is the best thing ever

When Xander was born, the hospital pediatrician told me that optimum child spacing was 3 years 7 months. I was immediately filled with regret and remorse. Had I simply held off for nine more days, I could have given both E and Xander (Xe/Z/Xe Man) the best possible start on life. 

Actually, I couldn't have cared less. I was just happy to not be pregnant any longer.

And that doctor was a bit of a nut who told me I was her favorite mother of the day and that I was killing my child all within a five minute conversation, but that's another story.

Despite being a whole nine days off from some arbitrary, or possibly well researched, ideal, I feel that Z is greatly benefiting from having a sister that is 3 years, 6 months, and 21 days older than him.

1) He's learning to always be alert and prepared.

My friend mentioned that Z always looks a little stunned/scared. I'm pretty sure it is from never knowing when his older sister is about to pounce, squeeze him til he can't breathe while declaring her undying love for him, or pick him up when I'm not watching (not that I would ever let him out of my sight!) I'm fairly certain that one day hyper alertness and the the ability to sense the enemy approaching from a mile away could come in handy.

2.) He gets way cooler songs sung to him.

When I used to rock E to sleep in the middle of the night, I'd sing her sweet lullabies. My favorite went:

Hey beautiful girl
Daddy loves you
He loves you
Most beautiful girl
In the whole wide world

When I'm singing to Z, it's usually whatever song is in my head. Since E has been on a Tangled kick lately, he usually hears:

I'm malicious mean and scary
My sneer could curdle dairy
And violence-wise my hands are not the cleanest
But despite my evil look
And my temper and my hook
I've always yearned to be a concert pianist...

Clearly, he's benefiting from living with a three year old.

3.) His every move is well monitored.

E is always more than happy to check on him and make sure he's still sleeping. Having a first hand report is so much more helpful than the static filled monitors we had last time.

E: He's still sleeping! I didn't wake him up!
Me: Wonderful! Thank you!
(30 seconds later)
E: He's crying!
Me: What happened?
E: I opened his eyes for him. I think he wants to be awake.

So. Much. Better.

4.) He always receives attention and comfort when he cries.

E doesn't like Z crying and is quick to comfort him. She likes to hold a pacifier (that he hates) in his mouth and when all else fails she's willing to smother him to so the crying stops. Sibling love.

5.) He's developing a strong immune system.

E didn't get her first cold until she was almost a year. Thanks to a sister with the sniffles, Z got his first cold at one week.

6.) Z's three year old sister is always willing to test things out for him.

From his itty bitty clothes to the swing, Moses basket, pacifier, toy, or car seat, she's tested it all.

7.) Having a three year old sister guarantees that everyone takes care of Z properly.

She's very eager to correct your hold, your burping technique, and my nursing position. She keeps a very accurate account of his diaper output and his feeding schedule (I didn't even know he had a feeding schedule!) Without her devoted oversight, Z would be lucky to be alive.

I think we can conclude based on a research sample of one, that a three year seven month age gap is truly ideal... at least for the three year old.

Our Growing Girl

E is at an age where it can feel like every breath is a battle. Tasks she used to love, like picking up her toys or feeding the dogs, can be a source of fun and entertainment one day but pure torture the next. Convincing her to do just about anything on my schedule rather than hers is nearly impossible (some things haven't changed all that much since birth), and heaven forbid I try to throw out her old food that's been sitting untouched for hours. However, in the midst of all the willpower and drama, she's growing into a charming little girl.

In no particular order, here is a small sample of the wonderfully sweet moments I get to witness every day with this little girl. These are the things I want to focus on in the day to day, and what I want to remember forever.

Lately E's been reading books to her dolls and stuffed animals, and I love hearing her interpretation of the pictures on the page. Her tone and inflection are awesome! Her imagination soars as she brings her storybooks to life for her minions, and I usually catch myself taking a break from whatever I'm doing in order to hear what goes on in that little mind of hers.

Her daddy taught her to touch cups and say, "Cheers!" before she takes a sip of water. In my opinion, this is much improved from slamming the cup down and exclaiming "Gan Bei!" like they were doing a few months ago. Her cheers, however, has transcended way beyond cups. In the past few weeks, we have exclaimed, "cheers!" as we've touched plates, bowls, spoons, granola bars, pepper slices, and even our toes.

When E wants something that she knows she may not get, she likes to come up to me, smile, and whisper very softly. Typically I'm sitting at my desk working and she'll come up and whisper, "Tigey!? Watch Tigey?" when she wants to watch Daniel Tiger. It's adorable, and sometimes it works.

E's grown into a really sweet and thankful little girl. Often when I bring her a snack or fetch something for her, she'll emphatically proclaim, "Thanks, Mommy!!" It warms my heart every single time. She loves giving random hugs and telling me she misses me, which for some reason she thinks is the same as loving me. Her standard response to "I love you!" is "I miss you, too!" This morning I was reminding her (again!) that she's not to draw on her pants with a pen, and she looked at me and starting singing, "I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you!" It's remarkably hard to discipline a toddler who is expressing their undying love for you through a song.

She's recently started repeating things she's learned on Daniel Tiger (a good reminder that it's important to watch what she's viewing!) and it makes me laugh. She'll say, "Mommy, I don't feel well. I need a nap." as she crawls onto the sofa and pretends to sleep for 3.2 seconds. Her baby no longer cries, instead she's "upset". The other day I heard her hammering away with her plastic toys. She was yelling above her own noise, "Too loud! Too loud! My ears hurt!" You and me both, kid. You and me both.

Last night we got home really late, and I had some work that needed to be completed before the guys got into the shop at the crack of dawn this morning. My computer program spazzed out and destroyed a large drawing in the process. I yelled some choice words at my computer and E was very concerned. She asked if I was okay, and I told her I was not. She then asked daddy if I was okay and he told her I was frustrated. She looked at me and started singing, "It's okay to feel sad sometimes. Little by little, you'll feel better again!" and then she asked if I felt better. Um, yup, you melted my heart and I feel great! Thanks, baby girl!

The other day we were walking Cali, and as we walked passed a house a dog barked and growled from inside. E was very concerned, walked over to Cali, and whispered, "It's okay, it's okay." as she hugged her around the neck. It was a very sweet although I'm sure Cali would have preferred to put the growling dog in its place rather than be hugged by a toddler.

I'm constantly amazed that I get the privilege of being this girl's mama. It's amazing how so much sweetness, stubborness, and personality can be wrapped into such a tiny package.

A Week at the Beach

There's something so refreshing and life-giving about Stone Harbor. The town is quiet, peaceful, and beautiful. Time away from the routine of home and work and toddler tantrums is always so welcome. Despite an unfortunately-timed project for work this year, we managed to enjoy the sand, tidal pools, waves, sun, and delicious restaurants. E enjoyed the undivided attention from aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great-grandparents, and managed to behave herself for the most part despite the inevitable spoiling. 

Since E's first exposure to the sun and sand when she was all of six months old, she's been in love with the beach. My wonderful father asked her if she was ready for the beach a full week before we left (thanks, dad!) and every single time I buckled her into her car seat that week, she'd ask, "Beach? Go to beach?!" She was bouncing off the walls all night before we left, and thankfully slept for the entire car ride there. As we pulled up to the beach house, she immediately woke up and excited exclaimed, "beach!!" I'm not sure if she smelled the fresh ocean air or if it was just coincidentally great timing, but it was adorable. She spent her days on the beach with Grandma, Aunt Kristin, and Daddy, playing in the waves and the sand, and her evenings walking into town and enjoying gelato and petting every puppy she could find.

Yup, that's the same swimsuit from last year. One of the many advantages of having a petite girl.

A Day in the Life of a Toddler

I suppose someday I'll look back on these days with fondness and a bit of nostalgia. After all, my little girl is amazingly sweet, and watching her learn & take in the world is both fascinating and fullfilling. However it can also be unbelievably frustrating and infuriating.

Here's a look at an ordinary day. This particular day was Sunday, March 2nd. E is 27 months and acts, well, like any other two year old.

7:30am E woke up when I tried to sneak out of bed. This is a daily occurrence but I still try in hopes of a random success. She ran to say "hi" to daddy before following me downstairs to supervise my coffee drinking.

7:35am  E asked for baked oatmeal for breakfast, and sat down to eat it at the dining room table. Handing blueberry baked oatmeal to a toddler is like inviting them on an epic treasure hunt, where they'll dig for gold... err blueberries like their life depends on it. I suppose I could have just offered her a bowl of blueberries, but that wouldn't have kept her entertained for an hour. Yup, an hour. Points for me.

8:35am Daddy dresses E while I finished getting ready to leave for church.

8:45am We're loading into the car headed for church. On time. This is rare and to be celebrated!

8:55am Daddy checks E in and we each grab a hand to swing her up the stairs to her room. She thinks it's an awesome ride and we reach the top of the staircase while it's still 2014. Everybody wins. She has a huge grin as she sees her friends and leaders, and we breathe a sigh of relief that only a parent of a toddler fully understands. We get to go focus on adult things with no worries about the house being destroyed, the dog being shaved, or the sofa being redone with fresh ink and scissors.

10:15am Church is over and we get E. She's snacking, happy, and acts like she owns the lobby. E and I wave bye to daddy and our friends, brave the freezing cold weather and head home.

11:45am I warn E that it's almost time to go get daddy. She can finish her Angry Birds cartoon and then we're leaving.

11:47am The cartoon ends and I ask E to put the tablet away. She refuses. Tantrum ensues as I close the tablet.

11:50am I put E on the potty before we leave. After a minute:
Me: Are you all done?
E: No.
Me: Are you still peeing?
E: No.
Me: Do you need to poo?
E: No.
Me: So you're all done.
E: No.

I go with it and we have a nice little conversion as she sits on the potty.

12:05pm
Me:  You need to be done. We're leaving.
E: No.
She doesn't complain when I grab her off the potty (I realize she did nothing!) wash her hands, and carry her downstairs. I put on her boots and peacoat, and grab my moccasins. E grabs my cute wedges for me to wear instead. I explain we're just going for a quick car trip and I want to be comfy as I slide my feet into my moccasins. Cue meltdown. I concede as we're already late (I did not plan on a fifteen minute potty break) and I have a really hard time getting E in her carseat when she's angry. I throw on my wedges, and head out to the car.

12:30pm We return home, daddy in tow. E is sound asleep as daddy carries her inside. He sits on the sofa and after a brief moment daddy and daughter are both passed out. Lovely Sunday afternoon nap for them and precious alone time with no agenda for me!

3:00pm E is stirring and I make her get up, afraid we've already sabotaged our chance for night time sleep. She hasn't napped in weeks and I'm getting more concerned by the minute. We get her a snack and watch the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother.

3:45pm As a family we write some long overdue thank you notes. E grabs her crayons and adds her own touch to several cards.

4:00pm Daddy and E play, and play, and play! It's so great to have him home. They tickle and giggle and build and destroy.

6:30pm Daddy throws dinner in the oven and E strips. I assume she's ready for some comfortable pajamas, but no. She's decided it's bath time. I remind her she doesn't need a bath now, but she's persistent so I promise a bath after dinner figuring it will save me some time tomorrow. She complies but refuses to get dressed again. Whatever.

7:00pm Dinner is ready and I pull the meat off the drumstick so E can dip it into her own little bowl of honey mustard. She grabs the bone and gnaws all the remaining bits of meat off, just like daddy. As she sits naked, gnawing on bones, I can't help but laugh. This long bitter cold and ridiculously snowy winter has stolen our sanity and there's clearly no hope of getting it back. Once the bone is clean to her satisfaction, E settles for the meat pieces on her plate and finishes dinner.

8:00pm E plays happily in the tub for quite awhile, eating bubbles, splashing daddy, and tirelessly pouring water from one container to another.

9:00pm E is clean, dry, and ready for bed. Daddy takes her upstairs for her bedtime routine and tucks her in.

9:30pm I hear crying. I go upstairs as usually this means she needs a potty break. Unfortunately that's not the case tonight. She's not tired. She comes down and snuggles with me for a bit before I try getting her back to bed. I feel her gums for her two year molars, give her a healthy dose of teething oil and teething drops, and sprinkle some lavender essential oil on her pillow. She's still not tired, so we convince her it's time for everyone to sleep. We get ready for bed and snuggle.

10:30pm She's still wide awake, singing to her baby and chatting up a storm. Daddy's snoring away.

11:30pm She's finally settled but not asleep. I fall asleep.

4:00am In my sleep I readjust and roll over, away from E, which sends her into a tantrum. Exhausted and frustrated, I yell. Daddy rescues me and brings E into the nursery to rock her. She wants mommy and is furious, but eventually settles. Daddy brings her back to bed under the condition that she can't utter a peep. She begrudgingly abides and we go back to sleep.

8:00am I roll my tired self out of bed, trying not to wake E. It doesn't work.

Sleeping!

E has ditched her teddy bears as part of her sleep routine. She no longer needs them to fall asleep.

All she's needed for the past two months has been her dog. No, not a cuddly little stuffed dog, but her dog. Barking, crazy, warm, and cuddly Cali has been helping E get to sleep for the past two months. 

We kicked Cali off the bed when I was pregnant. She had slept on the bed with Chou from the time he rescued her before we were married, and I never minded her extra warmth although I could do without the hair. We didn't want her to be jealous of E on the bed (although at the time we had no plans for cosleeping) nor did we want her accidentally rolling on the baby, so off she went long before E made her grand appearance. She's been happily lounging on her dog bed on the floor for the past 2+ years. One day this fall she suddenly decided she was allowed back on the bed. I'm really not sure why she bothered after two years, but I do know the only reason she got away with it was because she immediately started snuggling with E and they were too cute to punish.

E's only been napping a few days a week, but for every nap and every night at bed time, this is how she goes to sleep. It's really sweet.

Sometimes we're not quite ready for a nap, but still need a snuggle

Sometimes we forget we're supposed to be sleeping

And sometimes, when we're really lucky, Daddy joins us!

Fall Update

Ramblings from the past month, in no particular order:

Bring On Christmas!
This fall has come and gone rather quickly in our home. October was incredibly busy and stressful with the death of my grandmother in the beginning, and spending the rest of the month trying to catch up. I welcomed November wholeheartedly, and decided to get a head start on Christmas. We've slowly started decorating and listening to Christmas music (one month a year is just not enough time to enjoy carols!) and my goal is to do one simple craft with E every week until Christmas. I'm hoping to do a mixture of things for me and for her, but we'll do all of them together. If it goes well, I'll keep it going beyond the holidays.

Cloth Diapers
While my grandmother was in the hospital, we bought [beastly expensive all natural] disposable diapers for the first time since switching to cloth. E's only using them for night and the occasional nap making cloth a pain right now (I don't like to let dirty diapers sit more than a day or two, but I never have enough for a washing machine load at that point) and we just didn't have the time or desire to fuss with cloth. We're now back to cloth, but I'm really hoping to just train E overnight and ditch the diapers altogether.

E Update
E has been busy as ever! She's still mostly silent be has been letting more and more words slip through her lips unchecked. Her favorite seat in the house is on the dining room table with her feet resting on her chair. She'll sit there and chatter to me, the dogs, or just herself for hours. I should probably put an end to sitting on the table, but for now she's getting away with it because she's cute and I've been trying to encourage any and all things verbal. She's really opinionated on fashion, and I've started giving her choices rather than sending her to choose her own outfits/shoes/accessories. She's recently obsessed with a pair of sandals from the summer that just don't quite cut it on these 30 degree mornings. She's started learning her colors and her shapes, thinks all animals should roar like a lion, enjoys relaxing with a book, and has discovered the magic of the library. The TV still demands her undivided attention, so screen time is very limited in this house. She's often reserved in groups of her peers, not unlike her mama, but loves to observe even when she doesn't participate.

One of E's favorite outfits. She views these two infinity scarves as a set and only wears them together. Her bunny vest is only appropriate for a baby born in the year of the rabbit ;)